I Love To Go Out With You, but You Just Won't Look At My Boobs. Now Please Stop Staring At My Eyes.

When your date shows up in the gentleman and kiss on the cheek mood, what's a way-too-horny-concious, slightly neurotic girl to do?

I know I’m going to lose some of my male reader’s right out of the gate or some will likely reach for my account email. And I realize I will be hardly judge by female reader's for reavealing the mind secrets of woman. But what am I supposed to do? I’ve got issues. And I know I’m not the only one. Here’s my story

A few months ago, I’m walking towards the movie theater were my first date was waiting. By the last glance I gave upon him at the bar he seem “smart, sexy and quite mysterious”- in other words, the whole trinity that stands for a modern renaissance man.
And then I walked in.
Now, I’m not saying Adam was badly coach for the date in the way that men who seek reality date shows will ask him to be part of it. A normal girl might have seen him with his non-touch elbows or either exchanging comments for respect and thought, “What a gentleman!” I, on the other hand noticed his two shabby eyebrows bonding everytime I comment on the film, and as his way to distressed the continuous tick of the up and down leg, as an anxious movement for the film to end. And I realized I’d never be able to take him seriously as a romantic partner because I hated them so much. All of this before I’d receive the good night kiss on the cheek.

“What do you mean you didn’t like the date?” my friend asked when he inquired as to why, 3 days later, I hadn’t talked to him about my date with Adam. “You cannot be that pretentious. What self-respecting girl says that? Who do you think you are?” (My friend it’s a complete womanizer, he normally encourages me to take on new relationships thought this wasn’t the case I had clearly touched a nerve.)

It was a good question. Who did I think I was? I’m no Dita Von Teese, I fully realize that. I-and I suspect this true holds for a lot of girls that write upon blogs- am simply a girl that puts some thought on how people see me, reads every GQ, Allure and Cosmo issue, and occasionally spends some extra time looking perfect for my next date that her less sartorially minded friends reasonably call “vain”. But I’d never been turned off by an otherwise cute guy because he didn’t insanely try to brush his arm into mine.
Then, a few days later, I came into my senses and accepted the next date. Though that didn’t stop it from happening again, after his ridiculous slimy friend continuously hit it on me and he was nowhere to be found. I just couldn’t do it. I felt nothing was right, why was he looking into my eyes and not my breast?

“You might have a problem, dude” my womanizer friend said. He was right: Somewhere along the line, between the constant search of a good school and becoming an actress. I had become body language guy-savy to the point that friends question my sanity (not to mention my heterosexuality).

Did I actually care that I check upon myself more times than Adam did? Really? It had always been my understanding that men were the ones who seek the body contact upon their mates. This poor guy’s choice in holding himself unto me had become the equivalent of him having a piece of spinach stuck in his teeth: I couldn’t focus on anything else.

Did that make me a slut? I felt like a slut. But come on. You know the feeling. Ever date a guy you dig except he never calls and that makes you want to reach for the phone? Or thinks opening the door is essential but never sends an after date message?

Gloria, a dance partner, confessed that she’d recently started seeing his ex boyfriend because of her penchant to guys that weren’t aware of her (which is hard if you are dumb enough to miss a hot brunette, with a dancer body and sexphone voice). The problem, Gloria explained, is that “girls tend to know when guys are aware of them, those guys are mostly ignored. Where as no woman knowingly leaves the house looking hot is expected to be ignored, by some reason she is, she will indeed feel the rush to know why?”.

In other words, be prepared to suck it up, or at least accept that you’re an attention whore. “I’m not proud that I’ve searched for the glance of guys while I swing myself upon the city” says Tessy, a close friend of mine.” But on the other hand, once you become aware of certain things, it’s hard to stop caring. It’s terrible, but I’m much more inclined to a guy at a bar if he’s just having a chill time with his friends”.
Can you blame a man for finding this absurd? After years of learning how to approach a lady it seems the new thing it’s not to approach her.

About a week after our second date, my friend persuaded me to give Adam another shot. It was a gloomy day, so he suggested we should go to a little gig on this club were he also needed to do a report of. I showed up 30 minutes late, but after I reach him to pick me up outside ( he had the passes) he just stayed inside for 15 minutes!.
Then he came up with this excuse of being busy, anyways that’s were I spotted the slimy friend. My heart sank. 40 minutes after his friend overpass the metric system between two persons and pulling Adam’s hand for help, he finally asked “Do you want to dance?”. I thought for a second. Perhaps a bolder action was required “ Sure”. And then I was sure we were located away to pull his body towards me and kiss him.

We don’t date anymore, but I sure had a great time after he noticed me.-Lady E.

*the names we're drastically change but you can still get a resemblance...